Apropos Germany, I've been doing a lot of self-reflection and conducting many-a conversation with my sister, Grace, in regards to living abroad and I'd like to share my thoughts I thought I had thought (tee hee)! Shortly upon arrival in Waldshut-Tiengen and approximately two days thereafter, I can, without a doubt, say that the honeymoon phase of living abroad was obliterated. While intermittent spurts of joy, wonderment, and inspiration were certainly to be discovered in the most random of times, the overwhelming hurdle of having to demoralize and seemingly castrate myself in the process of application submissions defined the majority of my day-to-day routine. I was instantly reminded of my second time abroad in Japan where I was no longer the naive, boundless student, but rather an individual trying to make life work in a new surrounding and burgeoning profession.
Now that I'm in Germany, for the second time, in an analogous circumstance to that of Japan, I couldn't help but notice the stark similarities. As I said before, living abroad as a student and then as a worker are vastly variable: as a student, the utmost responsibility one has is to attend class, which can even be twisted and mended to one's will, depending on how academically-oriented one wishes study abroad to be. Other than that, study abroad is primarily defined by proliferated inebriation, sight-seeing, and learning about the target culture/language usually from an academic and objective standpoint, depending on one's level of cultural immersion. As a worker, however, the responsibilities are manifold and the reality of living is translated just as it would in one's native country: bills have to be paid, work is (usually) 5 days a week, apartment upkeep, intermittent socializing with friends, marked less inebriation, etc.
If I were to make a comparison between the two lifestyles, I would do so with the help of the county fair. As a study abroad student, you visit the fair, take in the sites, ride the rides, enjoy the local delicatessen, and have little care in the world. As a worker abroad, you're more like the employers at the fair, located in a somewhat unfamiliar surrounding, still having a lot of fun because of the inherent jovial quality of fairs, but also having to contribute to those who come into contact with the fair. I hope the above explanations hasn't portrayed life abroad as a continuous hamster-wheel race without excitement or pleasure, as that is not that case at all. These pleasures are found in daily excursions to the supermarket, random - and usually hilarious - encounters with people or objects in one's city, and merely the unpredictability of what's to come. This, more than anything, is what entices me so much about life abroad.
I will say, however, that the transition from my American life to a quasi German one - this comparison is made ever so lightly - has been less "ooohs" and "aaahhs" and more "oh yeah, I remember that!" While my second time in Japan may have culminated in an emotional and psychological deliquescence, it taught me innumerable lessons in how to view life, both as a whole and on a daily basis, especially where living abroad is concerned. I remember being told for the first time in high school about the "ruby glasses" metaphor, that going abroad and experiencing a different way of life, a variant perspective towards what it means to live (both philosophically and fundamentally) removes the ruby hue to result in an illumination of world perspectives and horizons. *Note: that is a very idealistic interpretation and I feel only an enlightened Buddhist monk would really ever be able to attain such nirvana* Still, the core of that metaphor holds true merely in the fact that living abroad changes you. I believe when going to work as an English teacher in Morioka, Japan, that enlightened and emphatically idealistic attitude towards living abroad defined my general mentality at that time. Whether I have "grown up," become more cynical or realistic, or most likely, due to the amazing conversations I had with friends and family in the past couple years, I now feel I am wearing less-ruby-hued glasses with a small asterisk reading "Still in training." And I am happy to be in that position.
I feel I've already been on the "Psychological and Emotional Roller Coaster Sensation of Waldshut" these past two weeks, but things seem to be stabilizing and the light at the end of the tunnel is slowly starting to illuminate - either that or my astigmatism is worsening! I know I have a tendency to conflagrate current endeavors by allowing myself to be sucked into the black hole of defeatism, but I aim at remaining stalwart and stout whatever may come; easier said than done, though! Still, I think there is a world of adventure and exploration at my doorstep, and if my socially aberrant obsession with fantasy games and lore is any kind of reflection of what I wish to define my life by, then let me grab my dwarven cleric and tally ho!
This post seems to have gotten a bit too reflective and elaborate, at least more than I had originally intended. Be that as it may, I am happy to have been able to do a lot of thinking during my numerous treks through the black forest as it helps to put many things into perspective for myself. Schools are concluding their vacation period in approximately one week, so I am anticipating a number of responses to my applications somewhat soon - fingers crossed. Until then, I shall continue to try to think of more posting ideas, ones that are perhaps less analytical or overbearing in theme. This weekend marks the 543rd celebration of a local festival, so expect copious comments and pictures of this truly time-tested faire.
